Category: School

So Long, Shakespeare!!

The 80-year school term is finally over! I haven’t looked at final grades because it makes me too anxious, but I think I got a B in Shakespeare 😒😒. My first non-A since Applied Statistics. I guess that’s not bad since I received two (unearned) Fs on two assignments. I’m disputing these grades through the university dispute/resolution department.

For my intermediate poetry workshop final poetry collection, I was told I am too poemy, tortured, and dramatic. Yeah, my life has sucked at times and poetry is how I prod myself to deal and heal. Sorry I am not Mother Goose 🤷‍♀️, although she could get pretty dark, too. Not to mention, what kind of person calls another complete stranger “tortured”? ‘Scuse me??

I guess I use “you” too much in my poetry as well, but what else do you (see??) call an audience? I can’t litter my poems with thee, thy, or one (as in, “how would one feel…” instead of “how would you feel…”); that would look pretentious, impersonal, and weird. I swear, my poetry instructor would rather shoot herself in the foot than give a compliment. I hope I don’t act like her after I’m published; I’d rather shoot myself in the foot!

Anyway, those classes are finished (aside from the dispute), and I’ve been complaining way too much on here, so I’m putting all that behind me 😊😊. Adam was a complete prince on my birthday and didn’t wish me a happy birthday at all! Since April is Death Month, he knows that I do not like to have my birthday acknowledged. He came and told me he knew what the day was but he wasn’t going to mention it, i.e., wish me happy birthday, because that is my wish, and I thought it was very sweet. I have been 29 for a few years and often forget my real age when doctors ask.

Speaking of, I’m going to see a surgeon about my hernia next week. I know it’s an absolute mess in there and I feel bad for the guy or gal who will be rooting around in my tummy. The pain has improved since Neville hasn’t been using me as a trampoline but I still want to see the surgeon. I had my hernia repair over ten years ago and people with mesh repairs usually have to have revisions.

I did the trash up and took it out because Adam was sleeping and I didn’t know he had set an alarm to get up and take it out (I’ve not taken the trash out for 15 years). I had Neville go with me to the bins because it was dark outside and I don’t like going down near the road at night. I gave him a trash bag to pull so he could help me and it didn’t go well 😂. It started out okay with him pulling it and following me but when we got close to the bin, he ran back up in the yard and started shaking the bag because he thought we were playing.

So, I have started training him in the living room to hold (without shaking) a bag and carry it while following me. He is really so smart. I started with a grocery bag with some things in it and I put some clothes in a garbage bag for me to carry across the room with him following me. He gets a little excited and shakes the bag when we get to our destination, but if I tell him to sit, he does so and stops shaking the bag. Recently, he has learned how to throw things with his mouth, which is hilarious but not a desired trick and nothing we taught.

After a couple of trips across the room, I switched bags so I have the grocery bag and he had the heavier, bigger trash bag. We’re doing this blind because I could not find a video for training a dog to carry a bag around, although I did find ones to teach them how to put their toys in a box and to put trash in a trash can. I had Ollie in the living room as well to practice distraction training for Neville, so Ollie received some participation treats 😂. It is a work in progress, but Nev is very eager to please and food-driven and he picks up on things very quickly. With Ollie, he has learned how to sit and come to me, but he is less eager to please than his brother.

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Grammarly vs. ProWritingAid vs. Hemingway App

Imported from Medium, 2020

We could all use a little less editing in our lives, amirite? It is super frustrating to spend hours working on an article or post and feel proud of it, only to get an email with “Revision Request” or “Rejected” in the subject line. Or maybe your work is full of comments in the margins that tell you what you did incorrectly. Well, there’s an app for that.

Which one to use, though? The three I have used, Grammarly, ProWritingAid, and Hemingway App, are powerful editing tools that will improve your writing and cut down on editing.

All three tools have very generous free versions. They are pretty cool apps, but I’m sure the paid versions are much more useful and worth the money. I’m typing this in the Hemingway App editor since I haven’t used it much. Let’s get started!

Grammar and Editing Applications

Grammarly, ProWritingAid, and Hemingway Editor are apps designed to help you write well. They check your spelling, grammar, sentence structure, and more. I’ll go through them app by app.

Grammarly

I have used Grammarly the longest. I found it while attending college because English Comp I and II tried to kill me. The free version includes a chromium-based browser extension, desktop app, Microsoft Word add-in, Outlook add-in, phone app, and new iPad app. I’m an Apple person, so I don’t know about other tablets. The iPad is a new feature.

Grammarly catches misspelled words and normal “common” mistakes like your/you’re, judgment/judgement, its/it’s, there/their/they’re, is/are, etc., all on the fly (as you are typing). A newer feature will let you see what tone your writing is in, be it business, academic, casual, humorous, and the like.

Performance Scores

The Grammarly editor scans your uploaded documents and scores your writing out of 100 based on correctness, clarity, engagement, delivery (with suggestions in each category), and premium features, which can’t be viewed in depth, but the number of errors will decrease if you guess your error(s) and correct it.

You can adjust goals for audience, formality, domain (style), tone, and intent for each document you open in the editor for custom editing.

The free version has really expanded since I last used it, and Grammarly is a great tool to have.

Grammarly desktop editor

Go Pro (Not The Camera)

The Pro version delves into comma usage and includes a plagiarism checker, vocab enhancement, and other features such as passive-voice usage and outdated language. You can also receive help and feedback from a human editor. It’s $30 a month or $11.66 a month billed annually.

ProWritingAid

I have been using ProWritingAid since I saw it mentioned in an article somewhere online a couple weeks ago. PWA informed me I’m a very passive writer. Reading up on copywriting and content writing informed me editors frown upon passive writing. What can I say? I’m a very passive person, so of course, it would show in my writing.

The Editor

The free PWA Editor opens in a browser and you can upload your documents or start typing away in the editor. There is also a chromium-based browser extension. There are so many freakin’ features!

In the editor, there are all these things at the top to check so many aspects of your writing. I’ll include a picture because it’s really extensive and impressive. When you’re done doing your thing (or before that, in case your computer crashes or the electric goes out), you can save the document or export it to your computer.

The PWA browser extension works like Grammarly (they do not work together) and has a contextual thesaurus. You can disable PWA on the site you’re at and also choose your writing style, which includes general, academic, business, and script. Pretty nifty.

ProWritingAid in-browser editor. Look at those features!

Go Pro (Again, Not The Camera)

The Pro version of PWA includes much more. You can download the desktop app to use offline. In the browser editor, you can save your document to a host of places such as Google Docs, MS Office (which includes Word and Outlook), Firefox, Chrome, PWA’s desktop app, and some other ones I’m unfamiliar with by looking at a logo. You can also request a human editor for feedback.

Hemingway App

Named after the famous author, the free Hemingway App is decent, but I’m getting a bit annoyed while writing this. It keeps taking me to the top of the page any time I do something other than type; this includes hitting Enter once or switching browser tabs. I don’t know the logic behind this.

The Editor

Aside from that, it’s an okay editor. My document is very colorful (not a good thing for a professional piece). I really like the toolbar at the top. Tools are Bold, Italic, H1, H2, H3 (headings), “Quote,” Bullets, Numbers, and Link. The bold and italic can be activated by highlighting the word and clicking on Bold or Italic or by using key shortcuts, Ctrl B and Ctrl I.

Grading

While the editor grades readability, it’s not very helpful, in that it doesn’t offer suggestions unless only one or two words are highlighted. Right now, this sentence is yellow (hard to read), and hovering over the sentence with the mouse doesn’t suggest how I can fix it; it just tells me it’s hard to read.

The words “are highlighted” are highlighted in green and hovering over that tells me it’s passive voice and I should use active voice. I’m given the option to click on “omit,” which deletes the words, then takes me back to the beginning of the document (really annoying).

I like the word count and error count included on the side. I have a 5, but I don’t know what that’s out of. The counter gives you a reading time, letters, characters, words, sentences, and paragraphs in the “Show More” drop-down.

I have used adverbs 15 times and should aim for 9 or fewer; passive voice 5 times, meeting the goal of 16 or fewer; no phrases have simpler alternatives; 9 of 82 sentences are hard to read; and 6 of 84 sentences are very hard to read, including this one. (Sorry, guys!)

I think more suggestions would make Hemingway on par with Grammarly and ProWritingAid. If we knew what sounded best and increased readability, we wouldn’t be making the errors in the first place. I don’t see any spell checking taking place by Hemingway.

Hemingway App in-browser editor. The underlines are the PWA extension.

Go Pro (You Get It)

The Hemingway App desktop app is a steal at $19.99. You can work offline or publish directly to Medium or WordPress from the desktop app. Not on Medium or WordPress? That’s okay, too. The desktop app handles headings, formatting, and links so you don’t have to.

Conclusions

For me, it’s an almost-tie between free Grammarly and ProWritingAid. I would choose PWA for certain if I went Pro. If you are colorblind, the coloring will not be beneficial to you, but clicking on the underlined words or phrases in Grammarly and PWA will give you the information you need. With Hemingway, the Readability feature on the right will help you out.

hoMe

Stick a Fork in Me; I’m Done

I worked on my Shakespeare PowerPoint presentation for hours and a couple of hours after submission, my teacher emailed me to let me know how bad it was and that it didn’t make sense. For context, I love making PowerPoints because I can be very creative with them and every teacher before this one has loved them; most recently, my literary theory professor.

Madness in HamletDownload

I spent most of the day crying and jerking (I don’t know why I jerk) before finally taking my anxiety medication and getting some sleep. My perfectionism did not let me not submit my final paper. I had most of it done, anyway.

On a good note, Taylor’s new album comes out in one day!! It is also Mom’s death anniversary, but I have something to smile about on that day finally. It is a little light in the dark that has been the last couple of weeks.

I don’t remember if I mentioned it here but I changed my pup’s name to Oliver instead of Oswald. He just does not seem badass enough to be an Ozzy 😂. He has taken the change quite well and we call him Ollie. Adam calls him Oliver Twist, so I guess he is Oliver Twist Hemingway. He has been very helpful with reducing my stress since he is pretty cuddly, but, like Neville, he wants to lick my face when we are facing each other.

And, my goodness, these boys are so jealous! When I take them out to pee, Neville gets back on the porch before Ollie and gets on my lap. I found out yesterday that Nev’s head comes to my shoulder when he is standing on his back legs, which he can take several steps like this (it’s kinda creepy, like the Scooby Doo movie). I introduced Ollie to my sensory room and we lay on my soft rug and Mom’s Steeler throw. He did pretty well being still. I really need to get a video of him jumping off the porch; it is hilarious. I want to make a little red cape with an O on it.

Malicious Compliance

I swear, I have not cried this much since taking Applied Statistics 😭😭😭!! Aside from my poetry workshop professor being totally useless and providing no guidance, my Shakespeare teacher is just as bad, if not worse. She gave me an F on my final project rough draft! No, I did not earn an F; it was freely (and probably gleefully) given. Unless people are dying or I’m drowning in untreated depression, I do not get Fs. The only non-A grade I’ve earned is a C+ in statistics. I’m giving a breakdown, so if you don’t want to read a lot of whining, I suggest skipping this post.

Contradiction One

This assignment is a partial rough draft of my final paper. Partial, as in not complete, because we are just starting week 6 and this was week 5’s assignment and there are 8 weeks per term. Okay, so the entire final paper is supposed to be four to eight pages including the References page, which is a page by itself. I submitted three written pages and one References page, so that is four pages for a partial rough draft. I get zero points in the spelling and grammar section because my four pages include the References page. That is my only zero on this assignment. There is no paper-length grading section, so she just stuck the zero in spelling and grammar, which is a travesty in itself because I am a spelling and grammar Nazi.

Contradiction Two

As seen in the announcement above, there is no need to summarize the play and provide an overview of the plot. Okie-dokie. I don’t feel it is necessary, so I leave out the plot and go on to briefly describe the context within Elizabethan culture.

And I get the grading score below 👇👇.

It should be, “You start off well…”

Contradiction Three

As a general rule, I do not like using quotes in my papers because that makes the school’s TurnItIn anti-plagiarism program’s score higher and a lot of teachers won’t even audit the program to see if it is capturing properly cited and quoted texts (quotes) and flagging them as plagiarism. I would rather write it in my own words and include the references on the References page, as one’s supposed to do even with paraphrasing or rephrasing. So, I did the latter, per usual, for my thematic summary and got positive feedback with this comment:

Since I can follow directions and take feedback well, I added direct quotes and in-text citations in my partial rough draft. Same approved scholarly resources, but I pulled some quotes from a couple of them and cited them. I am now told to not use “long quotes” (it was bullet points) and instead “use [my] own voice” and also not end on quotes but my own voice; you know, like I was doing before. Just…whatever.

Since she has pissed me off, and I can be petty, I included a quote from her announcement about not needing to summarize the play (in-text citation and including her in the references) and am doing a play-by-play of The Taming of the Shrew and the movie 10 Things I Hate About You since I am so “vague.” I go through the rubric point by point to make sure I cover everything, and I have taken 300-level classes before and aced them, so I do not believe I am missing something.

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The (Frugal) Student Life

Before I share my latest mistake I am in the process of making, I wanted to share some college student “hacks.” I need to save money when I can because I am terrible at money management; probably because of ADHD and the fact that I lived with Mom until she died and I did not have to pay rent. I will gladly buy a TV for $400 (but really, $400 for a name-brand 65″ LED smart TV?!?), but I will search to the ends of the Internet to pay as little as possible for toiletries and life essentials. That’s just me. I’ve come to terms with it and am aware of it.

Speaking of, the place I shop for most of my items now has a price adjustment thing, which rocks so hard. For 30 days from purchase, you can request a price adjustment and get the difference back if the item went on sale after you bought it. Once, I bought a little desk fan for $15 and it went on sale for $7 after I bought it. I requested a price adjustment and received $8 back. How awesome is that?! More recently, I got $6 back for two surge protectors because they went on sale, so I paid $7 for each surge protector, compared to paying $20 or $30 on Amazon for the same ones.

I just requested a price adjustment on an order, which made me think of talking about it here, and received $5 because several items dropped in price. You can choose to get the refund as credit or back on your payment method, so no pressure on spending the refund at that place. The only other time I’ve seen that is when I bought my Bose headphones for work and they went on sale for Christmas after that. I just contacted customer support and received $60 back, which is super awesome of Bose.

That was not one of my college hacks, but it is still a money-saving option. I will not disclose the shopping place because they are being smeared at the moment and most of the “facts” are total lies.

Onto the college money-saving tips. Firstly, you will need proof that you are in college. For most places, it is as simple and straightforward as verifying enrollment with your school email address. Verify.Me and another similar place are used by some as well. Other places may require your school schedule or proof of enrollment, both of which are easy enough to obtain.

Spotify Premium and Hulu (with ads)

I’ve used Spotify Premium since starting college. Back in 2018, the bundle was Spotify Premium, Hulu with ads, and Showtime for $4.99/month. Super awesome deal. Now, it is Spotify Premium and Hulu with ads for $5.99/month, which is still a good deal. New users get one month free. Adam and I cannot listen to Spotify at the same time, but we rarely do, so I still find it worth it.

Apple Music

Since we have attempted to listen to music at the same time and Adam’s music is influencing my music recommendations, I re-joined Apple Music. For students, it is $5.99/month. I still use Spotify the most because not all of my music is available through Apple, which I don’t understand. Namely, Olivia Rodrigo. They recently included Apple TV+ in this, but I believe it said for a limited time.

Amazon Prime Student and Amazon Music Unlimited

Now, I am still mad at Amazon, so I do not get Prime or Music Unlimited from them anymore. However, students can get Amazon Music Unlimited for $5.99/month after one month free. For Amazon Prime Student, you can get six months free and then it is $6.49/month or $69/year, which is half off the regular price. That is a great deal. Sadly, when Mom was alive, a year of regular Prime was $79/year and it is over $120 a year now.

I left Prime when they decided to raise the price every other month (it seemed) and started adding ads for Prime Video, which is not cool. Plus, they are gearing up to make Alexa/Echo into a subscription-based service, and around the time that was brought to the table, Alexa started to mysteriously get worse and worse to the point that I am switching to Google Nest as soon as I am able. It is not my fault that everyone is using a home assistant as a home assistant instead of a shopping buddy.

DoorDash

We have DoorDash here and you can get DashPass for $4.99/month. I use the service enough that it is worth getting most months. I find it much cheaper than Instacart, but they do not offer the same amount of stores, although they are expanding beyond restaurants and convenience stores.

Zenni Optical

Zenni just rocks on principle. They have the cheapest quality glasses I have found. For normal prescriptions, you pay for the frames, optional coating, and shipping. Since they have frames for as little as $6.95, I have paid under $20 for several pairs of glasses since discovering this site. They are nice glasses, too. I usually get coating which is $4.95 (basic) or $14.95 (oil and fingerprint resistant) depending on what I want, and it is still loads cheaper than other places. Anyway, they offer a 10% student discount. With my last glasses, I had to get bifocals or progressives, so it was frames ($20), optional coating ($4.95), $52 for progressives, and shipping. With the student discount, my glasses were under $80. It was either $70 or $77.

There are more ways to save if you’re a college student, but those I mentioned are the ones I know and use. A quick Google search for student discounts brings great results. Instacart supposedly offers some kind of student discount but I cannot find it. They seem stingier than other places. Happy shopping!

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~*~AuDHD~*~

I learned a while back that people in other English-speaking countries pronounce Adidas much differently than people in America (the States). Here, it is pronounced Uh-dee-duss, while in other countries it is pronounced Oddy-doss. I found that interesting. Most of the time, when I see or hear Adidas, the only thing I think of is All Day I Dream About Sex 😂. Iykyk. Anywho, I am here with another poem 🙂. 

~*~AuDHD~*~

Divisible by 5
Is how it should be
The volume for my music
And the TV

It doesn’t stop there
I have to confess
The passage of time
Is part of this mess

At 1, it’s all good
And I feel alive
Then, utter chaos
‘Til it’s 1:05

2 units of insulin?
That won’t work for me
I’ll skip it altogether
Or add another 3

But that’s not all
That goes on in my brain
The mental gymnastics
Could drive one insane

My ADHD
Pops up to say “Hi!”
There are too many rules
And it wants to know why

Dinner needs washing
The laundry needs cooking
A treat for the puppy
When no one is looking

Now nothing is finished
And it’s time for bed
But I must get some work done
I’ll sleep when I’m dead

I’m still not happy with either of my instructors 😒. Poetry lady says I have “a lot of lyricists” on my reading list. Well, duh. I told her in the first week that I do not read much poetry. My last instructor was just fine with that. Lyrics are poetic; poetry can certainly be put to music if one so desires. Many, many folk songs were poems before songs were even born. But I held my tongue.

Then…I emailed my Shakespeare instructor to ask about thesis statements (she wasn’t happy with mine) and she replied that I need to address her by name in emails and to mind my tone 😡😡😤. Mind. My. Tone. I am autistic, I literally cannot “mind my tone.” What you see is what you get. I would understand if I was rude or pissy but I write how I speak and that is how it has always been. I honestly do not know how to be otherwise.

Forgiveable, perhaps, if I had not disclosed being AuDHD in my first post as I do with every class. I do not have an intentional tone and since Mom’s gone, I don’t have a filter because I would speak through her, and now I do not have that option, which would not be an option in school, really, unless I asked her to read stuff before I submitted it and she suggested changes. So, I sat there and cried for an hour or so and kept myself from replying, which was a very hard thing to do.

She also gave me a low grade on my discussion post because my answer was “vague.” I need specifics if you do not want me to be “vague” (according to you). My husband knows this, so if I am vague when I ask him something or answer a question, he lets me know or asks me questions so I can elaborate and/or explain myself. At the very least, she could have responded to my post so I had an opportunity to appease her. I am a straight-A student and a junior; I know that all my other instructors were not just handing out A’s willy-nilly and letting me coast. I am literal. I can seem obtuse or sarcastic when I am not being either of those things. I spoke to my advisor about it so at least he is aware. Work with me and I will work with you.

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~*~Pervasive Thoughts~*~

Five poems this week! I had to write five poems for class this week alone 😫😫. I know, I know, it’s a poetry workshop class, but last workshop was two a week and certain forms each week. I don’t know how poets who write poems every day do it, honestly. I don’t know if it is because there is too much going on in my head or what, but I do much better with prompts or photos or contests. I find writing very cathartic, so I usually write about painful things so I can get them out, which is exhausting.

For class, I wrote about my father refusing to see me before he died and about my grandfather having dementia and referring to me as Little One because he couldn’t remember my name. Considering he died from sepsis, I’m assuming his dementia was caused by an untreated UTI. He had not been to the doctor in over 40 years, so it took them a while to figure out why he collapsed (he never woke up). Those two poems were very draining.

On top of the four poems for the milestone, we had to write another one for the discussion post, which is a forum mainly for attendance, participation, and accreditation. We had to choose a poem from our reading list and write a poem in their “voice,” which I found weird because I don’t even know what my voice is. I did it, nonetheless, and came up with the following:

~*~Pervasive Thoughts~*~

But don’t you see?  

Once it’s in your head,

it becomes a part of you —

it wraps around your brainstem

and creeps into your DNA.  

Walking the tightrope becomes

less daunting when it’s over 

a perverse safety net of pills,

razor blades, and ropes.  

The passivity of it all creates

a sense of mundanity that leads

you to believe everyone possesses

these thoughts and feelings — 

until you realize you’re the outlier and

most would exist in the extremist

of conditions and call it surviving.

I don’t know how that will go over in such a censored society (from how it used to be — not that we are as censored as other countries), but the professor was cool with including Wanting to Die by Anne Sexton in my reading list, so I am guessing the subject matter will not be a problem.

I doubt my PW2 professor will get back on my good side since I really liked my PW1 professor and PW2 laughed and said that PW1 was very wrong. I am not cool with people talking 💩 about people I like and/or respect. So, possibly a long eight weeks.

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Poetically Pissed Off

Well, I figured my intermediate workshop was going to be a challenge, but I did not know my opinions would be invalidated and my styles and voices questioned. Firstly, I had to stop centering my poetry (which is certainly a style – my preferred style at that). Then, I had to include punctuation, a formatting choice that I used sparingly, which incidentally I am being told to reverse in the new class. Now, I am not supposed to initial capitalize the first word of each new line. Who said I wanted to be a contemporary poet? Oh, and I can’t be inspired by “pop” poets like Rupi Kaur, who is the only contemporary poet I like.

Needless to say, my workshop professor and I are clashing. And I was admonished for stating the poems we read this week made no sense. If something does not make sense to me, I am going to make that clear. Just because some stuffy editors felt otherwise does not mean other people’s opinions should conform. The Emperor’s New Clothes, anybody? Suggesting I am not reading correctly and not that the poet wrote incoherently is insulting. Yellow Submarine is catchy; it is not a top-rate, meaningful song.

Raiding people’s private journals after they die and publishing them is certainly no way to set a precedent on what is the standard and now accepted. That has happened to at least two poets that I know of, Emily Dickinson being one. (She had only 10 poems published with her consent and her catalog is over 1,000.) It’s actually extremely violating and self-serving. I am here to learn, not conform or lie. This week’s reading list included the following:

coping skills lost in the flood
By CA Conrad

                   make you aching upwards of a
                             teenage broken phone
                           come to hear underwater
                                libraries up the side of
                                        the dinner plate a
                                        little too fast
                                          not ungrateful like
            some of  these bastards around here
can’t tap out a tune with you looking away
                      genies of not enough sleep
                               a happier location for
                                        the war not the
                       easiest thing you realize
                          beautiful architecture
                          refreshing beverages
       our signs read hello love us for
                                  the century of
                                  progress we
                                      gave you
                                        bombers
                                          arriving
                                    early here
                                  they are

From “Listen to the Golden Boomerang Return” 
 
          a potato
             born by
               shovel
               I am a
            bride of
          poetry in
         my orange
        and purple
       gown an
       unequaled
       extinction
        machine
         pushing
          strollers through
           ecosystems of
        concrete and plastic
we camel through the journey
  with our new playbook for
     where plunging hands go
                        don’t be weird
                     about this
                   you can be a
                 bride of
               poetry
              too

As you can see, neither poem above is left-aligned, another “rule” we were given for this week’s work. 

Third Poem for the Catastrophe
By Joyelle McSweeney

O
melting rainbow that embrace this roof
O
persistent covenant
hangs around
giving us nothing, leaves its muck in the water
expects us to be knocked out by its fine colors
weren’t you nothing too, weren’t you
sea bottom
crunched down into fuel
and when that eggshell roof busts through
mama’s gonna buy you
a rainbow ride for free
an illumination, an inflammation
hyperion flame headdress
dream pins in the fuel
balloons of Koolaid burst down to cool
the sticky baby’s head
plus a credit card a glock a new bible
a princess dress
a mermaid princess dress
so you’ll be twice submerged
or an erased Indian princess
pajama set now go to sleep

Bureau of

This is the body of,
waiting to turn on.

graced with a little tremor,
a little-known form, a fibrous hook,
a flimsy lever that makes the jar work

a lever and a clasp

:voila. The pathetic filofax
unfurls, the owl describes;
on air; makes an apse; lopes left

off the phonepole, woodenly.
we rise above the wind park,
commemorially.

our whorled fossil, pinned open.
our emergency kit
holds aspirin. digitalis. adrenalin-in-in.

So, yeah, I said they seemed drug-induced and made no sense. For one thing, the last poem starts a line with a colon 😒😒. Poetry is mainly for the poet, and I am all for that expression and them writing whatever they want, but I am certainly not required to like it or be encouraged to emulate it and “learn” from it. If I can say a movie makes no sense (and in a lot of instances, I am not the only one who feels that way), I can say a poem makes no sense, because, let’s face it; a lot of them do not. If they make sense to the one writing it, that is fine; great, even. Good for them. But do not belittle me or my intelligence and opinion solely because it does not align with yours. If this is “contemporary,” I will wholeheartedly pass.

Featured image: https://poemanalysis.com/poetry-explained/elements-of-poetry/

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Oh, Romeo — Nomeo!

I should be working, so of course another blog post! For school, dropping to half-time would halve my grant (money you don’t have to repay), so I am sticking to full-time 😒. That wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t required to take Shakespeare. Now, I get it; the guy (there is a debate whether Shakespeare was more than one person but we will go with the singular) was a genius and super talented and came up with the best stories and poems, but the old English just stumps me to the point that I need translation.

There are some choices for this class requirement but Shakespeare is actually the lesser of the evils offered, to me, anyway. I cannot remember what the others are, but I think one is Renaissance 😒. Plus, I was taking Shakespeare when my brother died and I could not deal at the time, so I have a UF (unfinished, I think is what that means), and retaking the class will improve my GPA.

My other class is an intermediate poetry workshop, so I am guessing it is a step up from the class I am finishing up on Sunday, and both classes are 300 level, which is for third years, so more writing and stricter grading. Adam has decided to go with fiction writing as his concentration, I believe, although he is pre-registered for a poetry workshop and a fiction workshop. I can never think of middles and ends for my stories and I have always written poetry, but not really any short stories. I’ve started “novels” that I eventually abandoned; that was mostly when I was obsessed with RL Stine.

My poetry workshop professor is giving me publishing resources and encouraging me to submit, but I am on the fence about that. Most don’t mention the royalty percentages, but one did and it was only 10%. Going my preferred route, I will get 70% or 75%. Of course, going through a publisher would give me more exposure, but it would also take away a lot of my freedom with formatting, editing, cover art, and who knows what else.

I’m also totally waffling with my site. I just can’t get the color scheme and image how I want it. I started out with the neon colors, which were cool, but when I decided to switch things up, I couldn’t decide what to go with. Should I use my book cover (willow tree)? Use Grandma’s painting print that I love (previous image)? Keep the image I have now? I seem to have entered a manic phase and that always involves lots of changes and me never feeling 100% satisfied. I was going to say I’m a total tweaker, but that doesn’t mean the same thing to other people as it does to me 🤣🤣. I can never leave things alone if I’m not totally “feeling” them.

Neville has started some scent training, and it is going surprisingly well. He is almost too smart for his own good. We’ve been using clove as the scent, and I take Nev into Mom’s room while Adam hides the hex bag. He then smells Adam’s hand and Adam says, “Go find it!” and he takes off and finds it. We’ve had to limit him to one room or he goes all over the house. When Adam re-hides the bag, Neville goes right to where he found it before 🤣. During potty breaks, Adam scents a stick and throws it in the yard and Neville has to find it. He has picked up the wrong stick a couple of times and knew they were the wrong ones, so put them down and grabbed the correct ones!

One day, I left my phone on the bed and came over to the computer, but I started worrying that Neville would get it and tear it up just to be a jerk (he tends to do that), so I turned my chair around, pointed to the phone on the bed, and said, “Pick it up!” and when he figured out what I was pointing to, he picked my phone up, jumped off the bed, and brought it to me without chewing on it or biting it 😊. I was so proud of him!

Once, when I was fiddling around in Mom’s bathroom, I handed him my phone so I could do something, and he sat there with it in his mouth until I asked/motioned for it back. He looked a bit confused as to why I was handing it to him but I wanted to see if he would take off with it or just hold it. I haven’t read up on teaching him to hold things yet. I know his parents have lots of ribbons and medals for retrieving, and part of that is holding what they retrieve without eating it or running away with it. I always see paintings of labs in duck hunting settings and I know they don’t get to eat the duck as a reward 🤣.

Lately, he has been ringing the potty bell in Mom’s room whenever he wants to play or leave the room. Adam comes in to talk after I wake up, and Nev will stand in the doorway and ring the bell and look up at him. I can’t help laughing when he does that, but he does it several times while we’re talking. He gets very jealous when Adam and I are in the same room.

I think I shared this before but that’s the bell. I can’t post the video because WP wants me to upgrade to do that.
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She Thinks I’m Cute!!

I got last week’s homework back; two free verse poems, and inserting line breaks in an unknown poem that had the formatting stripped, the latter of which included my all-over-the-place “reflection.” My professor said my reflection was exemplary 😂😂. She also said one of my poems, In the Garden of Remorse, was beautiful, which surprised me a bit because it was rather dark. She once again mentioned experimenting with structure and punctuation, which I don’t completely grasp yet. I have started experimenting with em dashes (long hyphens), something Emily Dickinson was very fond of, and I’m not even a fan of her work. 

Poems with weird spacing and punctuation really throw me off, which I feel is because of autism, ADHD, or a combination of both. I really like the movie No Country for Old Men and was excited to read the book when I found out the movie was based on the book, but the author is not a fan of commas or quotation marks. I could not discern when people were speaking, and the lack of comma usage was so annoying that I stopped reading the book. 

Another author did the same thing with quotation marks (what is up with that?) and I had to stop reading it which really stunk because I was enjoying the book aside from getting completely confused. Oh, it was 13 Reasons Why. I never watched the show so I’m in the dark about why the girl killed herself. Anyway, with poems, it really takes me out of what I’m reading when I am presented with weird, artsy formatting. 

I forgot to write about what Neville did! I got rid of most of my stuffed animals, which I really regret now, but I kept a few that are important to me. I love pandas and tigers, so I have some of each. I dog-proofed the living room before Neville got here and it’s nearly empty, but I have some stuffed animals in there because the room’s theme is safari and pandas (weird combination, I know). I have some pandas on the entertainment center since removing the TV. I take so long to tell stories. 

Nev likes to grab random things and bring them into the room and chew on them. He has plenty of chew toys and bones, but for some reason they aren’t preferable. He hunts for things, and I know he knows he is not supposed to have what he gets. He’s already destroyed two of my wireless mouses and the cord to my Dyson. He doesn’t seem interested in Adam’s stuff. 

So, he comes into the bedroom carrying one of my pandas and I take it from him and put it and the other ones on the entertainment center on top of the entertainment center so he can’t reach them. I see my brother’s slippers on the entertainment center, so I scoot those back against the back so he can’t reach them. Then, I return to work. Nev goes in and out of the bedroom a few times, then he lies down behind my chair and is quiet, which is when I know to look at him. He is lying there with one of Bub’s slippers just going to town on it, ripping the top to pieces. 

I can’t remember if I yelled at him or not but Adam comes into the living room where I’m standing and trying not to cry. I get very still and quiet when I’m angry or upset. I attempt to go back into the bedroom (I hate showing emotions around people) but Adam stops me and pulls me into his arms and I just lose it. I’ve had those slippers in the living room since Bub forgot them here and I like them being there so I can see them. I made it a point to move them out of the way so nothing would happen to them and they are the very next thing Neville goes after. I have my brother’s slippers and a pair of sunglasses, which he also forgot here, and that’s it. I’m not surrounded by his belongings like I am with Mom’s. 

I looked a bit worse than that.

Neville is still here, of course, but I wouldn’t have anything to do with him for several days, and he stayed in the room with Adam. He is supposed to be helping me, not making things worse! 

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