I briefly mentioned writing about Luke in one of my recent posts and then forgot all about it. Adam and I are on a wonderful new journey known as perimenopause, and why didn’t anyone tell me about this?! I call it Luke, aka Luke “Peri,” but it’s definitely not cute or sexy. So, this crap can start way before menopause (I’m not close to menopause) and last up to 15 years, from what I’ve read. And it hits like a ton of freakin’ bricks. I was fine and dandy one day with my minor aches and pains, and the next day, I can’t put my arms above my head, can’t turn my wrist, and I’m shooting eye lasers at anyone who looks at me, husband or child. WTH?
I know why Mom didn’t tell me about this and it’s not her fault. She had endometrial cancer and had to have a hysterectomy before Luke. My sister-in-law and aunt both had hysterectomies young, so I was completely in the dark. Thanks to Google, I discovered that so many women are uninformed as well, and that’s not cool. No one tells you Luke can start in your 30s even if you don’t reach menopause until your 50s! I made a FB status about it and several of my high school classmates are going through the same thing.
I’m showing my ignorance, but I thought menopause was your period stops, you get hot when others are cold or comfortable, maybe get a little moody here and there, and that’s it. That is not the case. I am in so much flippin’ pain from increased inflammation (I have rheumatoid arthritis like my dear ol’ mom), I experience PMS for, like, two weeks; I’ve gained 40 pounds without a proportionate change in my diet; and my legs and feet are so swollen it’s not funny. Why would we need to lose the ability to reproduce when all this happens? Who wants to have sex with someone going through all that? Why do women have to go through all this crap and men merely experience occasional wonky willies and leave their wives for convertibles and 25-year-olds? Something’s not adding up here. As an AuDHD extremely resistant to change, it’s not been great. Unfortunately, I can’t do hormone therapy because of my family’s heavy cancer history.
Per usual, Adam has been a gem about women’s issues. He’s always been sympathetic and attentive during my “time of the month,” and now he listens to me gripe and cry and complain about all the changes I’m experiencing and how it has blindsided me. He offers massages and cuddles and doesn’t get mad when I’m swinging through the moods. Given his severely abusive childhood and trash family, I honestly don’t know how he came to be so sweet and patient and have such a huge heart. I try to show him he doesn’t need to treat me like I’m going to break, then I proceed to break over an incorrect order or missing items or crappy food. The unmet expectations thing is a huge trigger for a meltdown. And noise! The sound of the boys drinking makes me murderous. Mom told everyone who would listen he was a Godsend for her and he has been the same for me. And he’s really cute to boot, so there’s that 😊😊.
Cari R Esta 