Tag: neurodivergent

Less Stress? Yes!!

Well…It has been a time, let me tell you. I don’t know what I’ve mentioned and what I haven’t, so I may repeat myself; just pretend it’s for emphasis. I got my cap, gown, honors cord, and diploma holder (frame?) from college, and I was pretty excited. The commencement I’m attending virtually is on December 14, but I have not registered for it because FAFSA is stupid. I consolidated my loans a few weeks or months ago and doing that created an overpayment of $1, which isn’t even an overpayment but some residual from the consolidation.

Note the “Excess Amount”

This could not happen. I can have $32,000 in student loans, but $32,001 is unacceptable? So, these geniuses stop my financial aid and throw me into forbearance and nobody thinks to inform me about it for two months. The only reason I found out is because Adam called the school, but we didn’t find out in the first phone call — oh, no, it took four phone calls with 2- and 3-hour hold times before we were told what was going on.

Fortunately, I am not kicked out of school (yet), and the school financial services people were very nice and empathetic, if a bit in the dark about my account. We are heading into the third month of dealing with this and last term’s aid has not shown up. We’re supposed to receive this term’s aid next week. So…yeah. I’m essentially late in paying for three of my classes through no fault of my own (unless you count me choosing to consolidate loans, then it is my fault) and I am supposed to graduate next month. The fat cherry on that sundae is my last class is a redo. I’m taking Seminar in American Literature instead of Seminar in Global Literature, which I took the last time (I switched to get away from the instructor) and I am stuck with the same instructor who accused me of using AI for my homework (I’m a writer; I don’t rely on AI). The stress has been great, literally and sarcastically.

Speaking of stress, I downloaded StressWatch for my Apple Watch, and it is pretty cool. It uses HRV (heart rate variability) to monitor stress levels and lets me know when I’m becoming stressed. It knows several minutes before I even start to experience symptoms. I also recently downloaded an app called Finch, which is supposed to help with ADHD and executive dysfunction. I shared it with Adam, and we are two little baby finches sending hugs and gratitude to each other while completing goals. It’s very cute.

In other news, I was prescribed an insulin pump and had to cancel my training for it three times because of transportation issues, and Adam and I just figured it out ourselves. Adam reads the book and shows and tells me what to do because I can’t remember what I read and get stuff confused. It was very overwhelming at first, but I’m slowly getting the hang of it. That’s not counting me wasting five infusion sets because I forgot to remove the needle cover for Every. Single. One. I had a mini meltdown and threw one of them away too hard for Adam’s liking, so he came over and put the sixth one on me and it took him, like, five seconds to do.

My amoxapine is helping with my productivity at work, but not my memory and executive dysfunction. I can see why since it’s not a stimulant, but I was hoping. The ADHD has worsened so much since Mom died — either that or she deftly handled my limitations and didn’t make them feel like limitations, which she totally did with my autism. I could feel and think I am being normal (for me) because she had my back, and I just flew through life none the wiser until I got evaluated after she died.

Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year!!!

It’s winter break from school, and I am kind of bummed and then not so much. Next term, I have a poetry workshop (yay!) and literary theory (boo!). I’ve never taken a workshop before and I am a little excited and a lot scared. I don’t want feedback on my poetry! ! 😂😂 The RSD struggle is real and it certainly extends to critiquing, giving and receiving. 

I just finished up a history class and critical approaches to lit and those were no fun. I don’t take any approaches to literature because I find most of the “classics” extremely boring, and I can’t remember what I read anyway due to my severe ADHD. A lot of the time I miss what’s right in front of me and have to have someone point it out. Other times, I pick up on and obsess over the smallest things and I stay so focused on them that I miss everything else going on. I am nothing if not inconsistent 😝. 

Things are going pretty well with Neville. He is still convinced he is starving 24/7 even though we try to tell him he isn’t. I have started to introduce him to my diabetes “kit” that has my glucose tabs in it. When he is a bit older, I’m going to teach him to alert to my scent (sweat or saliva) when I’m hypoglycemic, and he will retrieve my kit and bring it to me so I can take the tabs. That should be fun. 

He is a little confused at the moment because he thinks the kit is his to grab whenever he wants a treat (too smart for his own good) or just to lie down and chew on when he’s bored. Luckily, the case is hard so he hasn’t damaged it. I’m a little foggy on how to get from point A to point B, but everything I’ve read said he should be a bit older before that kind of training, anyway.  

At the moment, I’m sharing my CGM readings with Adam via an app and he comes in and feeds me sugar whenever I’m really low, which is every time I go to bed. I have gastroparesis, aka delayed gastric emptying (I have a smorgasbord of autoimmune disorders), so I stack my insulin since my sugar won’t drop for hours and then it starts working all at once when I lie down/fall asleep. I’ve tried not stacking, but my numbers just keep rising and rising and I go into panic mode. Most of the time I don’t even remember being woken up and given candy or tablets; Adam usually asks me if I remember him giving me this or that while I’m sleeping.

I had a couple of bucks and got myself some Christmas presents 🙄🙄. I was shopping for something for Adam, but the deals were just too good to pass up! I bought Taylor Swift’s Time magazine issue, obvi, (not a deal) but then I found a ring light and 62″ (taller than me) tripod for $10 on Walmart! It’s normally $30, so I snapped that up real quick. It’s not only white light, but 3 levels of white and 12 different colors for some trippy fun. I’ve been wanting to get some decent pictures of the kiddies and pup but either the lighting is stinky or the pictures are out of focus or some other issue. I also want to record Nev’s training to show him off. He’s such a smart little guy and really tries so hard. Plus, he gets the zoomies like the cats (especially Theo) and it’s hilarious because his butt is almost dragging the floor when he gets going. He runs in a sort of horizontal split. I can’t explain it, but hopefully I can catch a video and upload it here! 

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