Tag: Do it Yourself

When I First Met You, Panties Droppin’

I was cleaning the bathroom up (Adam’s a great handyman but he can’t pick up after himself to save his life), and Adam was like, Oh, yeah, you want to take pictures. I told him that I don’t want to before the floor was done, but then I decided to because it’s progress, so I took some pictures 😊.

The featured image is our new bidet toilet, and that has been an emotional roller coaster. In short, I am not digging it and I want my bidet seat back. Well, I like it 90%, but the 10% hatred sends me into meltdown mode. The pressure for the spray is just nothing compared to my Bio Bidet, which broke while the water was off for the leak. The remote sucks and is complicated. I wish I could pair the BB remote with the new toilet.

I love the look of it (for the most part; I prefer shiny and not matte finish), which I was unsure about since it is U-shaped and other ones are egg or oval. I like the auto-rising lid, although it goes up and down while I am/we are walking around in the room or doing something. I think it will tire quickly. It supposedly has four pressure levels, and they all feel exactly the same to me.

I sat on the floor with my hand on the sensor and did a wash, and the water shot across the room and hit the cabinet (sounds like good pressure, huh?), so Adam brought me a towel and watched me hit the + button and there was no change. I don’t know if I am missing something or got a defective unit or what. They have clumped so many features together in a few buttons and trying to read the manual is surprisingly hard. I’ll show you, and add a funny part that we laughed heartily about.

Not very helpful.
🤣🤣🤣

There are no ratings or reviews for this bidet at Home Depot, and no one else is selling this brand. However, it is being sold on Amazon under another brand name. There, it has three 5-star reviews, but no questions asked or answered, no mention of the spray/pressure, all new bidet users without anything to compare to, and no obvious place to contact the manufacturer. Adam tried calling support from the manual, but there is no 800 number and he couldn’t make the international call with his phone plan. *Sigh* I should have taken the scratch/repair on the front of the toilet (below) as sign of what was to come.

One good thing is that the bathroom floor is almost done. What partially negates that is I can feel it give where Piper peed on the floor near the wall now that the sheet flooring is up 😒. Part of the floor will need to be replaced, maybe 1′ x 3′, which means the tiles we placed will need to come up, and I don’t think they will re-stick. Hopefully, I have enough left over. All that the floor needs now, on the good parts, is black caulking around the perimeter after Adam straightens some of the tiles. The photos really wash the floor out. It is black with marbly-looking veins.

I’ve been melting down and crying nearly every time I use the bathroom. We both said that if I cried, we would send it back because of what happened with the dishwasher, but I hope I’m just doing something incorrectly with the remote. If it’s defective, I have 90 days to return it. Adam put the (100-pound) toilet in and hooked it up, took it out when I was upset about it, and then reinstalled it when I told him I wanted to play around with it to see if I can figure it out. I hope the poor boy has been eating his Wheaties.

Seriously Sick of Water

Anyone who knows me knows that I love water. It is one thing I love being in and around that soothes me, whether I’m looking at it, listening to it, or swimming in it. Now…I am so flippin’ sick of water! I never thought I would ever say or think that.

The Good

Adam got the leak fixed! It was down right at the meter (very easily could have been the water department’s responsibility to fix), so much so that Adam had to remove the pipe thing that houses the meter in order to fix the broken pipe. He dug a big ol’ hole over 5 feet deep, but I only took a picture of the small hole he dug when he found the leak site. I could see his blond head out there bobbing up and down at ground level when I checked on him. The new piece of pipe was cheap, but he had to change some parts that they don’t make anymore, and those cost $50 after buying the pipe 😒. He didn’t know he needed the extra parts, so we had to go without water for around 12 hours, give or take.

The Bad

Water is something we totally take for granted, so neither of us thought about the important-yet-mundane things like the ice maker and the bidet. I mean, that stuff is always there, you know? Oh, and the kids needed water, too. Oops. Adam went to our neighbor’s with a couple of gallon jugs, and they graciously allowed him to fill them up. We went to bed after that, and Adam finished fixing the leak in the morning when the parts arrived via Door Dash (Black Betty is still not fixed).

The Ugly

Our celebration turned to consternation when I went to the kitchen to get ice. The ice maker wasn’t working even though Adam had turned the water back on and the ice maker was on. That was distressing because a replacement is $100, and we could not find our ice cube trays. I know they are here somewhere…

So, he started tinkering with that, found some obstructions and cleared them and dried the ice maker, and then we just had to wait. Meanwhile, he discovered that the bidet was leaking. I remembered hearing it dripping in the morning while Adam was sleeping, but then I forgot about it. It wasn’t a huge drip. It’s just like a bunch of dominoes here, I swear.

He tried to fix the bidet and had no luck with it, so he unplugged it and turned the water off to the toilet. I can’t get a new bidet for several weeks, which really sucks because I love having one and need one because of my shoulders and stupid peri, and we don’t have to buy toilet paper since we use washable Unpaper. I thought it was an either/or deal, so when I plugged the bidet in and turned the water on to use the bathroom, I left the water on and unplugged the bidet so it wouldn’t fill back up and leak. That was the wrong thing to do.

The bidet leak was even bigger and water was running down the toilet and onto the floor and into Mom’s bedroom. Adam thought the dogs had bumped their water bowl, and I mentioned that it might be the toilet (because why not at this point?). It was the toilet 😑. When he was working on the bidet, he pinched the hose somehow when putting it back together and it snapped in two, so water was running continuously from the bidet onto the floor. He wanted me to see it, but I did not want to see it because I am pretty fed up with life right now, but I did the good wifely thing and took him a flashlight when he asked for one.

I don’t know which leprechaun I pissed off, but if you’re reading this, I am really sorry, and we are trying here. Really.

Is it Still Raining? I Drought It.

I bought the wrong size subfloor 🙄. Adam got the floor laid down in the tiny utility room but not nailed/secured because I have to get the right size. Since it’s a smaller room, I wanted to get , 2′ x 4′ boards instead of 4′ x 8′, so I searched for 23/32″ boards, which is what the rest of the house is, and bought them online without noting the thickness that showed up in the search results. The ones I got are maybe half that thickness and give when I walk on them. I looked up the size I bought, and they aren’t recommended for regular subfloor; more for attics. Certainly not in front of one of the main doors! I felt so stupid. For right now, he doubled what is down, and once again I have to avoid walking in there. It looks better than it did, though!

Adam is going to have to do some cutting and finagling so we have a floor instead of a bridge between the furnace and water tank houses, but since I got the incorrect subfloor, that isn’t something he can do now. To make my mistake even better, I wasted $79 for delivery. I’m sure I can find something to do with the boards, but I don’t know what yet.

I have been taking Phin out with me when I go out on the porch because he loves to eat grass and greenery, to the point that he will climb me if I have a flower in my hair (something I do when Adam brings me one). I put a small dog leash on him and attach it to the cable we have out there. He loves it a little too much and now nonchalantly walks out the door when I have it open to yell for the boys to come in. Luckily, since he can’t see, he doesn’t just take off and jump off the porch, so I have the time to step out and scoop him up before he gets too far. I have a knack for creating monsters 🤣🤣. He sits at the door and meows to be let out now, too.

A few days ago, I was lying in bed in Mom’s room watching TV, and I heard Phin meowing. I thought it was on my movie at first. I told Adam, so he started calling for Phin and looking for him, as Phin gets lost very frequently and cries until we find him or he follows our voice(s) to the room we’re in. Adam checked behind all the closed doors and outside. About the time I was thinking Phin could have climbed under the floor in the kitchen and was going to get up to help with the search, Adams walks into the bedroom holding a defeated-looking Phin and places him on my pillow. He’s a bit dusty and disoriented and sneezy. Indeed, he had climbed under the subfloor by way of one of the open spaces in the boards between the kitchen and utility room. Probably where the water pipes are near the furnace.

Adam said Phin came right to him when he heard him and he was able to lift him out. He was just down there walking around on the insulation 🙄. Adam covered the openings with our handy dandy coffee table top and a few other wood pieces from when he dismantled furniture I wanted to be rid of.

Phin was missing a day or two later, and the hunt was on again. Adam saw that the boys, Nev and Ollie, had messed up his patch job in the kitchen, and once more, Phin was down under the floor. It is going to be a nightmare when Adam replaces the subfloor in other parts of the house. I have some plastic covering set to buy for when that time comes, but I don’t know how well that will work on a determined, blind cat. Mom’s room is on the other end of the kitchen, so Phin trekked quite a ways under the floor for me to be able to hear him the first time.

I waited excitedly for an entire month after we switched to a tankless water heater to see how much it improved the water bill. It had been $80+ for years, and it was in the $60 range when Mom was alive. When the water bill finally came, I burst into tears. It was $405. For a month. To their credit, the water company lady had called us to say we had a leak a bit after the tankless was installed. However, I thought she was talking about the leak that was just fixed, so Adam told her it was taken care of. But, no…this was a different leak, and much worse. What are the chances? Seriously. Our latest readings were 13,000 gallons of water a month, compared to an average of 1,300 (which is still high for two people).

Since there was no water anywhere in or under the house, I asked the lady to send someone out to see if the leak’s on our end or theirs. She completely ignored me (which I should be used to) and let another month go by and another $400 bill come in. With that bill, she sent someone out and he had Adam turn the water off to the house and he watched the meter. The new leak is somewhere between the water shutoff outside our house by the porch and the meter, which is about 30 yards, give or take.

This new leak didn’t happen until we switched from the hot water tank to tankless, and I have no idea why. Adam didn’t bother anything underground, which is where the new leak is located. It is one heck of a coincidence.

I contacted the American Leak Detection place, and they are going to come find the leak with some equipment, but they cannot do that while it is raining, which it has been doing here since February. The guy is supposed to come next Saturday, God willing and the creek don’t rise…which, the creek is rising since it’s been raining for months on end. After that, Adam and I are going to get a crash course in plumbing because we certainly can’t afford to pay a plumber to fix an underground leak. The water bill is over $1,000 now since we’ve had to wait until we had the money for the leak detection guy, and I hate knowing that I have to pay that when I didn’t even get to enjoy all that water. The only silver lining I can see is that the ground should be fairly soft to dig in since it’s…well, mud.

Water We Going to Do?

I briefly touched on this leaky subject, but since I can’t remember what I said and this blog is mainly for me, I will reiterate because I want to.

I noticed a black spot on the vinyl flooring in the kitchen roughly eight years ago. It was at the door/wall to the water heater, so, obviously, I was concerned there was a leak there, and Adam unscrewed the door/wall and checked for a wet floor and water damage. We didn’t see any. I thought it was from ice cubes that my cat, Phin, liked to play soccer with and didn’t eat when he was done. The spot never grew, and I eventually forgot about it, wishing to replace the vinyl flooring (at least that section) in the future when possible, but nothing pressing. At that time, it had been two years since a plumber replaced our water heater tank.

Fast-forward to last September, when I noticed the floor from the water heater and furnace alcoves, which are opposite each other, and coming into the kitchen felt more like rubber than OSB. We have a few weak spots in the entire house, which didn’t surprise me for a 20-year-old foundationed double-wide with no renovations to date, and only general maintenance. The spots are in high-traffic areas, with one being where the house halves meet in the middle of the living room, which has been weakish since Mom was alive pre-2014.

Of course, this concerned me a great deal because we don’t have the money for major repairs, so I start mentioning to Adam that I want him to check under the house for wet areas. After several months, I finally put my foot down and got him under there, where he found some wet-ish pipes, but nothing accumulating on the ground. And so the research begins; typical AuDHD fare for me when faced with a problem.

I decided the leak had something to do with the water heater (but no clue what) and I wanted to get a tankless water heater, which I had low-key wanted for months. I’d seen them mentioned before on Reddit and they sounded cool and were supposed to be more energy efficient and take up a lot less space. It would be a win all around. After more research, some Home Depot shopping, and confirming Adam could do the task himself, I became the owner of a new tankless water heat that was so cute and compact, and I was very excited to get it installed, but I needed some additional parts from Amazon, as they were $70+ cheaper than Walmart (Weird. Weird.), and Amazon usually has reasonable shipping times.

Just like what happened after buying Black Betty, we had a massive snowstorm with feet of snow and state-of-emergency weather after I got the vital parts ordered. These things took three months to get here because the roads were so bad, and I had to reorder them three times due to Amazon saying my items were either delivered or lost in transit. The order was broken up into three or four separate deliveries for some reason, so I had to wait for the refunds before reordering. It was a very stressful and lengthy process. The floor situation in the water tank “house” had escalated fairly quickly in those months, considering something had been leaking for a decade unbeknownst to us.

Leaning tower of water tank

All the parts finally got here by the beginning of 2025, and my excitement was back. Adam did his manly thing and, miraculously, removed the water tank by himself, got it walked outside to the porch, and installed the tankless.

Much better, and more room! Maybe some painting later.

While removing the water tank, Adam discovered that the plumber who installed the tank had cut a pipe too short, and the overflow, or whatever it’s called, was going directly under the flooring and on/into the subfloor. For ten years. The circle of floor seen above should not be sunken; hence, the leaning tank.

Just like with Mom’s car, I have no options or means to right this wrong that the “professional” committed. The floor from the side door (the utility room with the washer and dryer and standalone freezer) to some of the kitchen is ruined, and subfloor and flooring needs replaced. No home insurance because I still don’t know how to get Mom’s deed and get my name on it, not that I could afford the insurance, anyway.

The coffee tabletop has been very helpful to walk on.

And…that’s just the one leak that raised our bill roughly $20 a month for 10 years, which I attributed to inflation and greed. The next one is a lot worse and a crazy huge coincidence, which I will cover soon.

this is me trying

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have talked, hinted, blogged, poeted, texted, reacted, proacted, and nothing has changed. Why do men continue to think that it is a woman’s job to assume a motherly role? There are not strict gender roles any longer for majority thinkers.

I can take the trash out, do the litter box, get myself up for appointments, and get things done, whether I outsource those jobs or do them myself. I don’t need a man, I need a partner (unless I want to be single, then I need myself, the cats, and Ollie Bear).

Don’t want to do the “dirty work”? Choose the more desirable tasks without being asked or told and those are what you get. If you unload the dishwasher and consider that your part, guess what the other person is doing? Loading the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. My brother and I had that chore after school and he would run home (he pushed me down a hill a couple of times to get home before me) so he could unload the dishes and I would have to touch the dirty, gross ones. If the dishwasher was empty and just needed loaded, he made sure I got home before he did. Siblings are great, huh 😂😂? But leave the decision-making to someone else and at their discretion, you’re on 💩 duty every time; quite literally with a puppy and blind cat. That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

My guts are spilling out (literally) and I’m still doing more than my part. Taylor dropped a lyric from the new album and it sums it up well, as she tends to do: Even statues crumble if they’re made to wait. I have seen a lot of instances where men and women think their partners will stay around because their parents stayed together regardless of how they were treated. I am not like that. My mom became a strong woman and taught me there is a limit and I can certainly stand my ground and say enough is enough (and I will).

I have changed everything for the loml in the last ten years. I went from having a caretaker my entire life, briefly having two in Mom and Adam for three years, to running an entire household by myself, having an independent, and trying to figure out everything. Mom didn’t know she was going to die and I would be flying solo. I think she thought if she didn’t make plans and preparations, she possibly could not die, which I totally get. She taught me many things but not everything (do parents ever get the opportunity to teach their children everything they want to before they die?).

I mean, I paid Mom’s house off with her life insurance by mailing a very large personal check via the post office… Obviously, that was incredibly stupid but I did not know that was a no-no because I knew about traveler’s checks but not certified checks or other secure ways to make transactions, like money orders, in 2014. I just knew I needed to get it done so I wouldn’t have to worry about the mortgage. The house bank called and asked if I was attempting to pay the house off and I think I started crying and told them what was going on. They were very helpful and took care of it for me.

All this is on top of living with someone who was too emotionally abused and stunted for me to be able to be myself. I never had to pretend or suppress with Mom when I got older because she was used to me and would back off and let me regulate on my own. Now, when I’m overwhelmed and need to decompress, I am asked “what’s wrong?” constantly until I answer or he marches off in a huff.

Even though we have a nephew on the spectrum, I am not supposed to behave or react out of neurotypical character. I have always had such expectations placed on me when other family wasn’t held to the same. I was supposed to be the good girl, the polite one, never speak up, never confront, let things go, etc. I cannot become irrationally frustrated or physical with things or have my entire mood ruined because one small thing was not as I expected or wanted it. That results in me containing everything, and my mental and physical health deteriorates until I can barely function and I break instead of merely snapping.

I really don’t ask for much, seriously. I want a relatively clean home free of ants or ladybugs (which means food and drink and trash not left all over the house), a mowed and trimmed lawn, and things repaired around the house. We’ve had a roof leak in the bathroom forever that should have been repaired a long time ago. But instead of getting it done, he’s going to wait until the ceiling caves in and then try to comfort me when I lose my 💩 because I don’t have the money to fix the roof or the ceiling.

When I just stop to see how bad he lets things get, it’s pointed out to me as soon as I fuss at him (well, you left this out and that there; you do this and that; you act this way; everything is a comparison with no responsibility taken, ever).

Of course, I’m the dramatic and unreasonable one for wanting it fixed yesterday, or wanting anything done, really. I already have to figure out how to replace the floors and subfloors in the kitchen, living room, and Mom’s room on my own because of the cats. I didn’t grow up in garbage and I don’t like being forced to live in it just because someone else did and has zero self-respect. Love and support are not the only things one needs.

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Just a Stinky Yay Day with Some Weight

Well, yesterday was a yay and stinky day. I bought an under-the-counter water filter for the kitchen sink, which I only recently found out existed, and since I was getting that, I got a kitchen faucet with one handle because the last one I got had two handles, and the hot and cold were backward and couldn’t be switched. (US standard is hot is left, cold is right.) You would think that would be something I got used to but I constantly filled up the cats’ water jug with hot water, which is a bad thing for a PUR water filter. I don’t know why that is the case, but the filter would start squealing so I assumed it didn’t like it. Anyway, I was super excited to be able to do away with the faucet filters and have a normal-looking faucet that tall containers would actually fit under.

Look how cute my little sink drain bucket is! (left)

Arched faucets with a pullout sprayer in the faucet are a big thing now, and I had a hard time finding any without the sprayer under $100 to boot. I thought it would be convenient to have the faucet pullout and my awesome regular sprayer. NBD, I could use whichever sprayer I wanted at the time. That was not the case. Firstly, this faucet is so much bigger than my old one 😂. I was quite impressed with the quality since it was under $40, and it’s quite hefty. Secondly, Adam informed me that I could not have my regular sprayer and the faucet hooked up together because of how it is configured. Of course, that change in my plan automatically triggered a shutdown and I didn’t want anything else to do with the faucet at that moment.

I left the kitchen to deal with this unexpected change, and Adam finished installing the faucet and filter. With this faucet, the nozzle points out slightly and gets the small piece of counter in front of the sink, and me, wet. I keep forgetting the sprayer is part of the faucet and when I pull it out to spray something, I shoot water across the room. That’s not the first or second time I’ve ever done that, but I was already cranky, so I didn’t like that, either. Never one to be thwarted, I put an elastic hair thing around the faucet above the nozzle, which you can see in the picture. I have it bunched up more in the front than the back, and that makes the nozzle point down more toward the sink, thus not getting the counter and me wet. I was very proud of that idea. So that was the stinky part of my day.

As Adam and I sat down to lunch, his mom calls to say they were waiting for us outside. I had an endocrinology appointment in 30 minutes. Oops!! That was further frazzling for me since I was not prepared to be amongst people. The yay part of my day was that I found out my hemoglobin A1c was 5.7!! I’m a type 1.5 (LADA) diabetic and completely ignored that fact since 2014 when I was diagnosed. Mom’s death is what pushed me into LADA, which is an autoimmune disorder. I started out trying to keep my sugar under control, but every time it would get up, I would get mad and stop. I take a very all-or-nothing approach to everything.

My last A1c was in December and was 11 or 12, which is super bad. At that percentage, my average sugars were around 300, with normal being around 80 to 90 for non-diabetics and slightly higher for diabetics. The 5.7 A1c means my average is dancing around 120, which is really good for a diabetic. I was very shocked and pleased with this result. I’ve been trying to manage my sugars since April after my eye appointment when I found out I was starting to lose my vision, and that was the kick in the pants I needed to work on my health.

It is widely and falsely thought to be fact that being overweight causes diabetes when that is not the case at all. That’s nothing but complete ignorance and fatphobia. Most T2 diabetics I am acquainted with have healthy BMIs. Obesity certainly increases the risk of developing T2 diabetes, especially belly fat, but not all overweight people are diabetic and not all diabetics are overweight. Weight gain is a symptom of T2 diabetes due to insulin resistance, which can be a precursor to diabetes if no lifestyle changes are made.

Uncontrolled diabetes actually causes unintended weight loss because the body begins to burn fat and muscle for energy instead of glucose. An unhealthy diet (for people of all weights and body types, especially in the US), sedentary lifestyle, and high stress are three red flags for potentially developing T2 diabetes. Of course, trying to explain that to people is like preaching to the choir.

The public’s obsession with other people’s bodies absolutely infuriates me because it has zero to do with people’s health and everything to do with appearance. Most try to disguise their disgust of the overweight as concern, but that is hardly ever the case. Long-term studies (those that run for multiple years) have shown that being underweight increases one’s mortality rate and poor health more than being overweight, yet we as a society promote and encourage extreme thinness to the point of insanity.

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Hither, Dither, and Dot

I finally got around to buying superglue and Adam put my sconces up above the shower. They are so cute! They used to be in the living room on either side of the fireplace mantel, but since the bathroom is so dark now because it’s black, I wanted something near the shower. Truth be told, I wanted this dragon head or this dragon for each side, but those are expensive. I think I would use the heck out of a 3D printer if they were affordable for me and I knew how to use one.

I’m a big Amazon shopper because our physical address isn’t valid according to most companies, and our items never show up when I try ordering from somewhere else. Amazon knows what’s up, but that does limit my options. The best part about these sconces is I bought six battery-operated puck lights that came with two remotes, so I just point the remote at each light to turn them on, which is great since I can’t reach them and it would be a pain climbing up there and removing the globes and flipping each light on each time I showered. I am now irrationally excited to take a shower 😂.

The uneven look from the ceiling slant is driving me bonkers…

I really want something like this hand for holding my hair things and other small stuff that I tend to lose otherwise. It’d be cool as a towel holder as well, but it doesn’t look all that capable and doesn’t have the greatest reviews. We talked about getting one of those mold kit things and resin and some press-on witchy nails and using Adam’s hands to make our own, but I don’t know how that would go, and it could be a waste of money.

I’m a collector of…things, I guess you could say. My darling mother really tried to keep up, which resulted in me having so many different things. I have collected unicorns, pandas, tigers, bears, (e)books, rocks, movies, and stuffed animals. Some unconventional things are underwear, socks, and music. It’s weird how much I love cute socks because I’m barefoot 99% of the time. Diabetic socks are awesome because there are no seams, but they stretch out after one time of wearing. I’m currently collecting ebooks again. I will never read all of them but there’s that niggling “just in case” in the back of my mind. Just in case of what? The apocalypse? Massive author strike? I don’t know. I won’t tell me. It sounds hoarderish but I actually get rid of stuff all the time and, unfortunately, I wind up needing stuff I’ve gotten rid of and have to buy it again. I’ve gotten rid of almost all my stuffed animals. I love them and hated getting rid of them but they just take up so much space. I keep worrying about the mess I’ll leave behind when Adam and I die. I don’t want family to have to figure out what to do with so much stuff. Since we don’t have kids, a lot of my items won’t be passed down.

How about that Titanic stuff!!? The Titanic is a special interest of mine, and I have mentioned how I would love to see it for real, but come on! There were so many warnings and safety issues, and the guy(s) just totally ignored them. Money can buy you nearly everything, but brains isn’t one of them. I saw a video on Reddit of an enactment of what it would look like when the Titan imploded, and it is so crazy. People in the know were saying how it would be milliseconds and the bodies would pretty much liquefy, and I just can’t wrap my head around that. Their deaths would have been quick and painless, at least. I’ve been glued to the Titanic subreddit for the past week. I bombarded Adam with a few texts before he was awake since I always forget what I want to tell him when he wakes up. That way, we can discuss what I sent him 😊.

People are really showing their true colors (they never disappoint) and have chosen to mock and meme the five passengers of the Titan. They either forget or don’t care that a 19-year-old boy was in there and he allegedly was terrified and did not want to go in the first place. From what I’ve seen, mostly on Reddit, which is a dumpster fire in itself 24/7, they all deserved to die because they had/came from money. These sentiments were laid bare before information about the glaring unsafety of the vessel and the blatant negligence ever came out, so it’s not all a case of “fox around and find out.” People are just so filled with hate over what they don’t have, whether it be money, wealth, privilege, talent, etc. The thing they don’t get, or completely ignore altogether, is that they would be the same way. If all they knew in their life were wealth and privilege, they would not be concerning themselves with those who have neither of those. They would throw money at some charities as tax write-offs and go about their lives.

Of course, I would not mind being wealthy, and I think I would be more charitable if I became wealthy at my age (mainly because I’m charitable now with what I do have or when I have something to give), but I would be a completely different person if I was born or grew up wanting for nothing. Wealth and poverty skew one’s view of the world. I certainly changed going from poverty to middle-class living with Mom after she switched careers. My food choices changed – I don’t know how I ever ate fried bologna and fake ketchup. I can’t handle being without central air conditioning at all. Obviously, I’m broke again since Mom died, but I am incredibly lucky that I inherited her house and paid it off with what she worked so hard to leave me. I could be homeless at any given moment, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to laugh and celebrate that five people who had it better than me financially are dead.

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Bloop, Bloop, Bloop

It was never a secret that my brother had undiagnosed ADHD, hyperactive type. He couldn’t sit still and was always working on something, tearing something apart, or fidgeting endlessly. School was difficult for both of us, but it wasn’t common to be treated for mental health when we were children.

After I requested a psych eval and was diagnosed with autism and ADHD well into adulthood (after Mom died), things started making sense and falling into place. Sure, I could sit and read book after book, but once I finished a book, I couldn’t tell you a thing about it, even the ending. I can say I liked the book but not why or what happened.

The trouble with having AuDHD (autism with ADHD) is I crave routine, yet routine can be terribly boring. I like to think of it as controlled chaos. My space can look like a hurricane blew through, but if you want to know where something is, I can most likely tell you unless I put it somewhere where I wouldn’t lose it. For example, I know a black Sharpie is in the bathroom closet in a box with the cabinet door handles, but I have no idea where I put the silver ones so I wouldn’t lose them.

After my doctor and I got my psych medications right and the Wellbutrin kicked in, I’ve been in downsizing and renovation mode. I think 19 years of the house looking the same is long enough! I started with Mom’s bedroom and painted it glossy black. I’ve no doubt Mom is losing her mind looking down on me, but I really like it. Trim and ceiling are going to be black as well, because you just can’t have a black room with wood-colored trim and a white ceiling. That’s silly.

Theo being helpful
The shelf thing cleaned up nice!

After finishing most of the bedroom, I moved on to her bathroom, and I am having so much fun with it. It is black now, too, and I removed the shelf/ledge under the bathroom mirror and put it on the wall so it wasn’t in the way of the sink faucet.

The wood-colored backsplash had a recessed trim(?) the same color as the counter. Since I’m going with black and silver in Mom’s bathroom, I ordered some 1/2″ stainless steel-colored adhesive PVC piping which fit perfectly. I’m including a picture of the guest bathroom below, which has the same backsplash as Mom’s did, but a different VOG (vinyl-on-gypsum) wallpaper. I bought shiny silver contact paper for the counter and around the garden tub, which should be fun.

A peek of the old wall where the shelf/ledge was.
Guest bathroom backsplash

Because I bloop, bloop, bloop all over the place, I started tackling Mom’s walk-in closet in the midst of redoing her bedroom and bathroom. I haven’t gotten very far with it, but I am downsizing in a major way, and there is only so much the living room can hold in between trash days. Considering I have zero budget, this reno could take a while, but I am finding some really good deals on Amazon. I think the most expensive thing has been the paint, which is $48 a gallon. Since I’m painting everything that doesn’t move, I’m going to need a lot of paint!