Tag: Berner

AuDHD Associations (and Animal Cruelty)

Disclaimer/Trigger warning: Do not read the article I linked if you cannot tolerate descriptions of animal abuse. There are no pictures of the animals, but it gives some details that I wish I had not read.

I have a hard time differentiating and separating. Those might not be the correct words but I don’t know what would. Association, maybe? A component of rigid/black-and-white thinking. I was very fond of my grandfather (Dad’s dad) and he had big teeth with a gap, and a warm smile. My entire life, I’ve noticed that feature and it would make me like that person. Like, I have a soft spot for 50 Cent because I think he looks like my grandfather due to the big teeth. Never mind that they aren’t the same skin color 😂. The same goes for Gary Busey and Chris Rock.

In the same vein, my dad had a deep voice, so I am taken by that as well. James Earl Jones, Sam Elliott (he’s not bad on the eyes, either), Barry White, Morgan Freeman, the deep-voice dudes from The Statler Brothers and The Oak Ridge Boys, etc.

I met a work friend of Mom’s one time at the mall and due to AuDHD, I never could remember her name. However, this lady was decked out in purple from head to toe, so I called her the Grape Lady. Whenever Mom would talk about this friend, I would ask, “the Grape Lady?” and Mom would confirm or deny. I do that with most things because my brain is a bit slow on the uptake with a lot of things. I could not think of the word “vacuum” on more than one occasion and move my arm away from and near my body and say “vroom, vroom” to let my husband know to what I am referring. He is actually very good with these clues 😂😂.

Anyway, this association thing, or whatever it’s called, works negatively as well. My aunt had a little ankle biter that bit my ear one time — no blood, but it did not feel good — and he soured me on all small dogs, so his behavior affected my view of a huge number of dog breeds. It’s not intentional, but it is what it is.

So, to my point. While searching for a puppy, I found a site named Greenfield Puppies. My brother-in-law lives in the same state that kept popping up in my search as closest to me, so I thought he may be close to some of the breeders (I was incorrect). The results included pictures and videos of the puppies, and I could tell many of the breeders were Amish, as mentioned in my previous post.

On Reddit and Facebook, people say reputable breeders offer health guarantees and socialization, which these breeders offered, as well as the purebred puppies being registered. The puppies were going fast site-wide, so I chose a puppy and breeder and googled them. I was looking for something like a social media page that included the pups’ parents, which I had found when doing the same with Goldens. The first result I got was a news article, Lancaster County kennel owner pleads guilty to animal cruelty in 2018 ‘debarking’ case. Same last name, same state and county, same lifestyle/religious(?) affiliation.

Being me, I became immediately distressed and sick to my stomach. I contacted my BIL to see if he could find out more since he goes through breeders, and he only found what I found and said the woman was probably related to the breeders, especially since the Amish are a tight-knit, oft-related group and apparently are very into breeding animals/running mills, which I didn’t know, either. I’m a very sheltered and naïve person in many ways, which is odd since I’m so cynical and a realist for the most part. With animal abuse and cruelty becoming a felony, I became too trusting in people being law-abiding.

Then came the conundrum. Do I shun them (no pun intended) because they are running mills and treating animals poorly or do I rescue a puppy so he doesn’t have to live in that situation any longer? I decided to go with that breeder and wish for the best, which may mark my character but I was really torn and wanted the puppy to have a good life outside of his first three months. Then, the whole 💩storm happened that I wrote in my last post. Now, I am extremely put off by the Amish. It’s not something I am proud of but the research and the experience Adam went through getting our puppy and the way Ozzy has acted since getting here are negatives upon negatives.

After Ozzy got here, he did not know how to enter the house (which I think I mentioned previously). Except for getting in the bed with me, he prefers the floor, which is sad but makes sense since Adam said the puppies were in a barn. Everything is just so new to him and it makes me really sad. The “socialization,” I’m guessing was the breeder’s wife and kids taking turns to feed them but not pay much attention to them. I am very glad he is here but I feel so bad for him for how he was born and briefly grew up.

Neville’s experience was so different. His breeder shared tons of videos and pictures of him playing with his brothers and sisters, fetching, swimming, training, and being loved on. He knew how to sit and have his collar placed. He knew how to walk on a leash. He loves hugging us and sits at our feet. He is a wonderful, amazing, smart dog. I hope he can teach his brother some of that!

I always adopt/rescue and not shop, but I wanted a reliable service dog, and now I am paying the price because I have contributed to the worst type of people (mill runners, not necessarily the Amish) and the only consolation is that I can give Ozzy the best life imaginable since I put all my kids first.

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My Cutest Mistake

Do I have a story to tell, and I was not even in attendance! I take a while to tell stories in writing because I try to explain a lot, so bear with me. Since Neville chose Adam and has as little to do with me as possible, I have been pretty upset. Plus, one day, Adam made me feel exactly like Dad and his second wife made me feel, which cut deep. It was a whole thing, and I could not tell Adam what was wrong because I would just start crying and I finally told him via text. It wasn’t intentional, but it’s how I felt.

Anyway, I started looking for Golden retrievers because they make good service dogs and are very helpful for disabled people. While I was looking at Goldens on the Greenfield Puppies site, I looked through the other breeds and they had Bernese Mountain dogs (BMDs), which have always been my dream dog after I discovered them. Before that, it was rottweilers and Golden retrievers.

Breeders in my state charge a crazy price (probably standard, but crazy to me) for dogs which is why I chose another state fairly close to us. The Goldens and BMDs were about 80% cheaper and AKC registered with health guarantees, the last two things are supposed to be signs of reputable breeders. I’m not too concerned with the AKC thing, but it is a perk.

After weeks of searching, I found a cute little BMD named Kyle who was only $50 more than a Golden and he was about 5 hours away from us. Since we don’t have a car, we tried to find a way to get him because shipping him here would have been $500 in and of itself, which is no bueno. I could rent a car for $65+ gas and that would be much cheaper, obvi. I found lots of puppies, but they were going fast because the prices drop as the puppies get older.

“Kyle” (breeder photo)

So, I called(!!) the breeder and told him I would like to buy Kyle and he said okay and wanted to know when I could get him and I said it would be two weeks. He said that people were calling about the ones left because the price had just decreased so I asked if I could send a deposit. I could tell by multiple videos that a lot of the breeders on this site were Amish. The location includes Amish country and the way the women were dressed was very telling. Fine. No big deal. They have to make money somehow, but that meant no PayPal or Cash App and the like.

The guy said I could mail a check for 70% of the cost of Kyle and I could let him know when it was in the mail. I said I would and I did so through bill pay with my bank because who has paper checks these days?!? Well, we were able to make arrangements to get the pup a week earlier, which was fine with the breeder, and his wife told me via phone to bring cash for what I owed them. I was sleeping when she called, but said okay and hung up. I was not going to be in a car for 5 hours and then try to work, so Adam was going.

Five hours later, Adam gets to the breeder’s, and the guy refuses to give him the pup because he wants the full amount in cash and would not accept the check that arrived that day (I also had screenshots from my bank for Adam to show him in case the check hadn’t made it). He said people were coming who were going to pay more for the dog because the jerk did not mark the dog as sold after we settled on me putting a deposit down. I guess there were words, and the guy went into his house and would not come out. I was livid. Like, ice-cold livid.

I had already seen an atrocious animal abuse/puppy mill case online when searching the breeder’s last name (different first name, but same location and most likely related), so I had soured on the Amish, which I will discuss why in another post. I called the breeder and told him via answering machine (because… Amish) that I had recorded our phone conversations (I had not) and my husband would not leave without getting the police involved. I did not know that Adam had already left; he had terrible cell service there, we found out. Before he left, Adam said he told the guy he would be hearing from our lawyer (we don’t have one).

The breeder called me back a bit later, which I didn’t answer because I’m emotionally stunted and cannot handle confrontation or back up my bravado, but I read the message as he was leaving it (thanks, Apple!) and he said something along the lines of he didn’t want me to not have a puppy or go home without a puppy. I called Adam to tell him to stop driving but couldn’t get through so called through Facebook Messenger (thanks, Facebook!) and he was already talking to the breeder and was going to go back there to get the puppy. He had already made it an hour away from there 🥹🥹🥹.

The breeder tried to act like he had a change of heart and wanted to do the right, honest thing, but Adam said he had expected the full price of the pup in cash and wanted to keep the deposit check as well!

About 7 or 8 hours after that, I got my little boy 🥰🥰. He was a mess because he got car sick several times, so he had to get a bath as soon as he got to his new home. I don’t think he has ever been in a house. Adam said the pups were in a barn in a stable with other animals, and his bath water was so dirty. He didn’t know how to step into the house, either, and is still getting used to going in and out of the house. He didn’t know how to take treats from my fingers/hand. He is learning.

Bathed!

I named him Oswald Hemingway and we call him Oz or Ozzy. Neville is super jealous but also really wants to play with him. They are 8 months apart in age, so we have to watch Nev doesn’t get too rough, and Ozzy definitely cannot keep up with him. Nev does his Phoebe running with him, which is hilarious. I’m at square one with potty training because he was an outside/barn pup (which I did not know), so that is a pain. Neville is much more motivated and eager to learn, but he also had a good breeder who taught him things before we got him.

So that is my very long, exhausting story of how we got our latest member of the family.

After playtime.
Getting comfy.
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